Saturday, March 9, 2013

The Last Leviathan


“You know that if you get a care you have to drive it right?”

“ There will be other cars on the road to you do realize that?”

“You are aware that people in LA drive crazy aren’t you?”

This is just a sampling of the barrage of questions I have been slung at me since I have decided to let people in my life know that I am indeed looking for a car.

Yes it is that time.  I have postponed it for long enough. It is time for me to face my fear of driving in the big city.

And before you add to the onslaught of questions, let me assure you I have been chewing on the same questions in my brain for longer than you can imagine.  And for those of you who have asked these questions and were on the receiving end of my snapping turtle-ness I do apologize. It was my own anxiety and insecurity calling the shots, I’m not proud of it, but I’ve been living in this skin long enough to know that it happens.

But it is time.  Anyone who knows me (or is familiar with this blog) knows that driving is my biggest leviathan, my last great dragon. So this is big at least in my little narcissistic world.

The thing is I am a firm believer in change, even when it is painful or scary. Some of the most powerful life changing decisions I have made in my life has been the painful scary ones. And the truth is I may decide that I want to live in a city were mass transit is awesome and I never ever have to drive a car. But It will be my choice not something I am forced into because of fear. Too many of my choices of my decisions have been dictated by fear, and quite frankly I am done.





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