Recently a friend of mine expressed to me that he thought it
was interesting how I was in many ways I was (to paraphrase) very aware but in
other ways “still learning”. I made a joke about my arrested development
issues, which yes there are a few.
I have always been drawn to dichotomies. I like things that
don’t seem to make sense but still somehow seem to coexist, comfortably, or not
so comfortably. Maybe I am drawn to this because I feel like that is what I am
like inside. I’m a pendulum always swinging between extremes, or maybe I’m
always just both.
When I was a kid they tested me because I was struggling in
school. They believed that I had a processing disorder (which I did). The test
results however proved a bit challenging for them. When I was in sixth grade my
math was at a third grade level, my spelling was not much higher, but my
reading comprehension was that of a college freshman. It was very hard to place
me, and I am grateful that I did have lots of helpful teachers who supported
me, and a mom who was in my corner to tailor an education that would suit my dichotomous
needs.
It's weird because I still feel like I straddle different
worlds. I can be outgoing at times, and painfully insecure at others (or
sometimes both and the same time). I can be terribly sweet and sunshiny, but
not without a love of sarcasm and a tinge of irreverence.
I often find that the people I gravitate to are like me in
that sense. They are anarchist soccer moms and ice princess with a hearts of
gold. They are jerks with a sensitive streak, or philosophical macho men.
Honestly we all straddle different worlds, and different
personality traits. I don’t think many of us live in black and white world;
most of us reside in gray town. And I am glad it’s that way.
I think that what makes sour
candy so great is after you get that punch that first punch that makes you
pucker, you have a greater appreciation for when it fades to sweet.
Sour candy
and life are just more interesting that way.
No comments:
Post a Comment