Can I just say, nothing puts me on the defense faster than starting a phrase with “you should...” Those two words have never set well with me. Even if a person is delivering excellent advice, if it is unsolicited and they come at me with that dreaded phrase I can feel my eyes glazing over, and my stubbornness setting in. I have to keep myself from saying "you know what YOU SHOULD mind your own business". It’s quite childish I know. After all why throw the baby out with the bath-water just because I am a brat who is metaphorically sticking my fingers in my ears and singing the La La song.
It makes me wonder how many times I have let good advice fall to the wayside due to my aversion to the words “you should”. It makes me think that perhaps I SHOULD take a moment to listen, and to grow up, and get over that phrase. But even seeing that deplorable phrase on this blog makes me want to not heed my own advice. Perhaps it’s just another sign that this girl in transit has a long way to go before she becomes an actually grown up type person who is not stubborn and who does not throw child like tantrums when she hears a simple phrase.
I don't think this has anything to do with immaturity. Nobody likes to feel lectured. Guidance is one thing, but being "told" what to do puts anyone on the defensive. Did this aversion to that phrase come from bad experiences you had with particular people who used that phrase? ~ Shannon
ReplyDeleteI can't really place it on one instance. I guess I just kinda have always disliked people telling me what I should do. And I try hard not to use the phrase myself although I know I have, hypocrite that I can be:) But really it is very presumptuous to believe that we have so much more insight into another's life than they do, that we can tell them what they "should do". Of course I wrote this on a day where someone had used the phrase on me so it was a bit of me just venting my annoyance :)
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