Body Talk

So this is not a new topic.  it’s one that has been addressed by many a smart person, and will continue to be addressed as long as the problem persists. That said I wanted to put in my two scents in, because it is something I struggle with myself a great deal.  

It’s the whole body image thing. And perhaps this has been exacerbated by the fact that I just had my wisdom teeth pulled and my face has swollen three sizes, and because of this I now have a greater appreciation for how my face looks when it’s not post surgery puffy.  

Now I know there are men who struggle with this issue too, and I respect that, but for the purposes of this I will speak only from the female perspective, or more specifically my own personal perspective, cause frankly I can’t speak for anyone else.

This is something I have struggled with for many years. After all I grew up next to a sister who would get stopped on the street by strangers so they could ask her “has anyone ever told you that you look like Julie Roberts?”

I, on the other hand, was a short chubby kid with braces who had a great fondness of overalls (yeah I have no explanation for this, but I had many pairs and I loved them)

I honestly think I deserve a metal for surviving puberty next to my sister.

Of course I have come a long way from that teenager who thought that the reflection in the mirror was that of someone who was monstrous and grotesque. I look at myself in a more realistic way, which is good. But that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle.

The truth is I find myself walking a very precarious line because of my situation. I am a person who struggles with weight, not as an esthetic thing, but as a health issue thing. As I have discussed before there is a lot of health issues that run in my family that the access weight compound. Honestly I do best when I don’t obsess on the numbers on the scale or the size of jeans, but rather when I choose to take care of body to make it FEEL better than LOOK better (and by look better I mean make it fit into some subjective idea of what it is suppose to look like according to popular culture)

The thing is this causes a battle in my head. Because honestly I don’t believe everyone has to be a size two to be healthy. I also believe that people who don’t fit into the very narrow idea of beauty are treated unfairly by society. When we look at someone who is morbidly obese it is so easy to judge that person and to see there body as outward sign of there weakness of will, or some sort of lack of morality. And this is an injustice for sure. We have no idea that journey that person has traveled or what their life has looked like.

In the past few years I have gained a greater appreciation for my body. I appreciate that fact that it can walk be up stares, it can hold people I love, and it can dance. And because if this appreciation, I want to honor my body by feeding it well, and showing my love by taking care of it.

But my body does not look like the ones in the magazines. It never will. And I am learning to be okay with that. But sometimes there is a war in my head because of all the images we are fed.

I particularly have a problem with the current trend in music. Now I love a good dirty party song from time to time don’t get me wrong.  But it seems like now a day everyone is trying to out trump each other on how overtly sexual they can be, and how far they can objectify the female body (male and female artists both do this).  It makes me sad.

 I also read an article recently that discussed how a large group of men said they would leave their partner if the gained weight. Now I am not sure how accurate this article was, or how many men (or what type of men they surveyed) But it did make me feel kind of sick. Now I’m not stupid, I know that physical attraction is important in a romantic relationship, but in a real relationship, it should not be the only component. For longevity purposes you better be attracted to who the person is, or it isn’t going to last. To me, if you love them only if the stay a certain size, this is a sign of conditional love, and quite frankly conditional love is not really love at all.

I don’t know if it’s worse than it use to be, I know that women have always been objectified, and that pop culture has always celebrated the superficial. All I know is I think it is time we reclaim our connection with our bodies, and celebrate beauty in individuality. I think it is time we start teaching young girls that who they are, what they think, and what the do is what makes them special, unique and lovely.

I guess I had a lot to say on the subject of positive vs. negative body image, because I am still fighting with it in myself. Some days that insecure teenage girl I was is far closer on my heels than I wish she were.  But I guess that’s the whole thing about being in transit, the only way you can see how far you have come is to acknowledge where you have been.