Some Weather We're Having

I was having a conversation with my Uncle about the weather. It doesn’t seem like a topic that would reap profound revelations, but this time it did.

We where discussing the rain storm that California recently was hit with. I told him “I am not a big fan of the rain, but we need it badly so I’m grateful for it”

That got me thinking about my life right now. I think it is fair to say that the last few months have been a bit of storm.  I have been through a series of events that have lead back to square one. Living once again in my hometown, with my parents. Not exactly where I planned to be at this particular juncture of my life.

It has been a hard season. A “when it rains it pours” sort of season. But it was necessary. I needed it. I have learned so much in this storm and I am finally feeling like I am breaking out of a rut that I have been stuck in for the last year.

I have become more determined and focused on what it is that I want for my life. I know that I don’t want to be in this position again. And I know that the reason I am is because I have been too afraid to go after what I want. But that has changed. I am ready to move forward and if that means going after jobs that will lead me on grand adventures to places I have never been then so be it. And if it means taking not-so-awesome jobs for now that will help me to get to that place that I need to go than so be that too.

I have also come to realize that there is really very little room for self-doubt. I have to be brave and take care of myself, and trust that I am capable of a lot more than I give myself credit for.

That said, I have also been reminded once again that I have so many wonderful people in my life. I have had real moments of bitterness, depression, and selfishness during lately. I am not proud of this, but it’s true. I am so very grateful for those of who have reached out to me in my most unlovable moments.  I hope that I can be there for them someday the same way they have been for me.

It’s not exactly all sunshine yet, but the sky is clearing and the rain is slowing down.  I am hopeful for my future, and I am grateful for what this season continues to teach me.