And Holding...

I know that I have been incredibly quite for a while. This is because this girl in transit has been stuck in a holding pattern. I feel as though I am stuck again, in those slumps I seem to dip into from time to time.

I have no good excuse for this. The simple truth is that I allowed old demons that have come knocking at my door to come and stay awhile, let them get comfortable.  They whisper in my ear until I forget how truly strong I am, I forget my accomplishments and I start to fear the steps I need to take to obtain the dreams so dear to my heart.

In fact, I begin to believe that I don’t deserve to dream.

It’s painful to admit this. It’s embarrassing. There is so much in my life to be grateful for. There are so many beautiful people who share their lives with mine.  There are so many things that I have accomplished and experiences that I have had, and continue to have that make the tapestry of my life richer than words can express. So it is with a lot of shame that I admit how ungrateful, petty and even yes depressed I have become again.

My hope is that by giving this emotions form, by expressing them here as I have so often have done in the past, they will loose the power they have when I keep them locked inside me.  

My hope is that by writing this I will lighten my load enough to get out of this holding pattern, and be in transit once again.