A Genius Post

gen·ius  (jnys)

n. pl. gen·ius·es

1.

a. Extraordinary intellectual and creative power.

b. A person of extraordinary intellect and talent: "One is not born a genius, one becomes a genius" (Simone de Beauvoir).

c. A person who has an exceptionally high intelligence quotient, typically above 140.

2.

a. A strong natural talent, aptitude, or inclination: has a genius for choosing the right words.

b. One who has such a talent or inclination: a genius at diplomacy.

3. The prevailing spirit or distinctive character, as of a place, a person, or an era: the genius of Elizabethan England.

4. pl. ge·ni·i (jn-) Roman Mythology A tutelary deity or guardian spirit of a person or place.

5. A person who has great influence over another.

6. A jinni in Muslim mythology.

That’s how http://www.thefreedictionary.com/genius defines genius. It’s an interesting word. It’s also a word that I have been that I have been hearing a lot lately.  Even so much as a few people have referred to me as one. My initial instinct when someone throws this word at me is to laugh it off, or deny it vehemently as absurd.  Perhaps it’s the deeply engrained catholic supplicant roots that make me so averse to receiving compliments (but that’s a whole nother ball of wax).

What I really want to talk about is the word genius because I have been hearing it so much lately. I guess when I hear it Einstein comes to mind, or other hyper intelligent women and men who seem like untouchable figures in the history books.

But looking at the nuts and bolts of this definition, it occurs to me that genius can come in all shapes and sizes.  There is a possibility that I could be considered a genius in the right light.  In fact everybody has talents of some sort, so really we all have the capacity to be a genius in one way or another, and that I find very cool.

Off The Cell Grid

Anyone who knows me knows that my ability with technology is limited at best. Of course I can manage the basics like any of my fellow gen Y-ers who have been raised in this MTV and personal computer era. And having a bit of the social anxiety, I had an added interest to become versed in anything that allowed me to interact with people without REALLY interacting with them.

But as a whole I’m not very good with technology, I don’t even know how to do a power point presentation (shameful I know). But it has occurred to me lately that for something I am not terribly good with, I am painfully dependent on it.

Nothing drove this home more then my phone going kaput on me.  I went to text someone yesterday and the phone shut off by itself. I of course went into a kind of panic. After trying all sorts of things to get it going I ordered a replacement battery (fingers crossed that it will fixed the problem). 

So here I am cell phone-less while I wait for the replacement battery to come, and that has really proved to me how completely reliant I am on the thing. Not only do I use it to keep in contact with people, or to text when I am bored, but I realized now that I don’t even own a watch at this point! I had a meeting today, and I realized how desperately I wanted to know the time during it… I did not NEED to know it, mind you, just really really wanted to.

So perhaps this 48-hour span of being phone-less is a good thing. Maybe it will be some sort of enlightening experience that will teach me something deep about myself.

But if I am really honest with myself I know just hope that the new battery will fix the bloody thing.  

Asleep At the Wheel

There are these phases in my life where it’s as if I am going through the motions of my day-to-day existence, and yet I don’t actually feel present. I find myself doing just the bare minimum to get me through.  It’s like being on autopilot in my own life. I am currently in one of those chapters.   

In these chapters that I am living a half capacity life it’s very hard not to let my old bad default behavior run the joint.  There was a time when I pretty much ran on anxiety and self -loathing. And if I am not fully present and focused I can resort back to that, it’s sort of like a really cruddy default.

The thing is you can’t live life like you are asleep at the wheel for long before something has to give.  I have, in the past, become reckless in an effort to shake myself awake. I have had mini (and not so mini) emotional breakdowns, and burned more bridges than I care to recount. It usually is a painful and exhausting experience. These things are all done as a way of jarring myself into the world of the living. 

But now I can’t help but wonder if there is a way to ease yourself back into being present in your life. I mean do I really have to shock my system to break loose of this hamster wheel that I am treading on?

I guess what I am hoping is that maybe, just maybe sometimes we can get the benefits of growing with out the pains. I know I am on the cusp of some change.  I am just hoping that I am in a cocoon right now, getting ready to spread my butterfly wings instead of a phoenix ready to combust.