Rut

I have been in a rut. And nothing makes a mutable transit soul such as myself feel blue quite like ruts.

I think it all started with thesis that turned into graduation that turned into that nebulous new world of postgraduate life. I sort of just hit that preverbal wall that so many have talked about.

To compound that (or perhaps because of that) my health has not been that stellar the past few month I have faced allergies and infections that have lead me to just generally feel unwell.  Which of course leads to feeling emotionally unwell. To make matters worse my sleeping schedule is very unreliable. There have been times lately when I get no more then three or four hours of actual sleep. And all of this just piles up until you look around and realize that you are indeed in a place of creative and emotional stagnation.

It has all made me realize how important it is to take care of oneself, mind and body. I want to not just go through the motions of my life, which is what happens when you don’t feel strong and at your best.  I want to be a proactive participant in my life, and I know that to do that I have to really in earnest value my self and do whatever is in my power to help make this body and mind of mine work as efficiently as they can.

I can’t do it all at once, but I finally feel like I am moving forward again. I’m starting with small steps, but as I have learned so far on this road that I have traveled, small steps do begin to add up, and for that I am grateful.